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[offkey]

username: BILL NYE

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Comments

[sheriffing]

It's harder than you'd think, isn't it?

[ not getting eaten, killed, maimed, etc.]

Same, with some leftover hate for the prison. You're okay, right?

[offkey]

oh man the prison

don't get me started on that prison

i am definitely giving it a negative review on yelp

yeah i'm okay

still alive which is something

i'm glad you're alive too

and okay too i hope?

[sheriffing]

I'm glad you're still in one piece.

I'm alive and okay, and done with anything that involves us getting locked up. Wasn't the first or worst time it's happened for me, but somehow the pattern only gets more frustrating.

I knew we were screwed before the heist even started.

[offkey]

really???

i was actually feeling pretty okay

you know i saw some dinosaurs in the exhibit

i thought it was a good sign

and then everything went straight into the pooper

my first mission too

definitely 100% done with getting locked up for the rest of ever

[sheriffing]

Yeah, there were too many of us trying to get to the same diamond.

My ex is a thief, he taught me everything I know about stealing things. We overdid it.

Some of us should have chilled with the dinosaurs until it was over.

They're not all like this. Sometimes we pull it off.

[offkey]

huh

wish you were leading the team(s) instead of that george dude

i mean no offence george but you done screwed the pooch and we were all collateral!!!

not that im bitter or anything

anyway i would have volunteered to chill with the dinosaurs

good to know not all missions are like this but man this is gonna be one of those memories i sweep under the rug

[sheriffing]

Hard not to be bitter when we were all incarcerated for it.

I like to think most of us would have opted to chill with the dinosaurs.

Honestly, it wasn't as bad as the mission that came before it. But the mission that came before it was the worst, so.

[offkey]

oh my god

what happened in the mission before this one?

[sheriffing]

Some of us were infected with a virus that over time made you a danger to everyone around you.

Like zombie-person levels of insane.

[offkey]

oh

yeah

actually

i think my other

uh

self

told me about it

were you affected?

[sheriffing]

Yeah, towards the end. It sucked.

[offkey]

so how did you get cured of it?

do you think it could happen again?

[sheriffing]

I joined up with everyone who was quarantined while the team worked on a cure.

Anything is possible, but we were sent there to stop the virus. The mission was pretty specific, I'd say we're safe.

[offkey]

okay

i mean zombies and vampires are definitely on my

what's the opposite of a bucket list?

[sheriffing]

[ a fuck-it list.]

I think I could deal with vampires, but becoming a zombie wasn't exactly a lifegoal.

[offkey]

[ Definitely a fuck-it list. ]

vampires are creepy as hell

i dealt with one once

freaked the crap out of me

[sheriffing]

I've dealt with enough creepy things come to life to expect to encounter Dracula or Louis de Pointe du Lac or Count von Count someday.

Doesn't mean I'm hoping for it, though.

[offkey]

that sounds depressing

except that i can reaaaaally relate

lets hope the next mission just involves gathering a bouquet of hydrangeas or something

[sheriffing]

You can?

Or a pizza eating contest.

1/2

[offkey]

yeah unfortunately

i uh

met a vampire once

i never want to meet another vampire ever again

ever

in ever

for the rest of my life

2/2

[offkey]

oh

and yeah!

pizza eating contest would be AMAZING actually

why don't they have missions like that?